Halloween Time

As many people should know it is that time of year where everybody is getting all hyped up about halloween. Halloween is all about dressing up and drinking delicious drinks like capri sun with frozen sunny D ice cubes, right? False!!! Halloween is just a night that makes it easier for things like ninjas and robots to freely roam the streets without ever being caught. I understand that many of you will not be able to tell between the dressed up posers and the real deal. So here are a few tips to help identify the true ninja or robot.First, if the ninja has on a winter coat while he is trick-or-treating it is probably just a kid who couldn't take the harsh weather of late October.Second, if this robot can speak to you without first trying to overtake your energy source and steal your magical wand it is probably not real.Now that I have informed you on how to properl identify one from the other it is time for me to tell you how to avoid face to face confrentation with one of these demonic creatures.Most ninjas are only after things that are somewhat magical or something that is directly connected to the world wide web. One thing that you must avoid having with you is something given to you, or stolen from an elvish being. We all know that the elvs have an astonishing effect over the magical world. Some think that these elvs are evil and that is why the ninjas are so determined to stay hidden or unidentifyed is to try to sneak past the magically enhanced barb wire security fences that surround the elf cities.Most Robots are just after power, batery life, or memory which is why I must encourage that none of you carry your ipods with you, even if it is one of those fancy nanos because the robots dont know the difference between full size ipods and nanos. If one Robot get a hold of the nano and does not come out of it with atleast 20 gigabytes of memory it will only make him infuriated and program his hard drive to not stop killing till he get the required battery life.So there you have it, possibly the best advice you can get if you want to be safe over the Halloween holliday.P.S. Watch out for those Hypnotists, they are nothing but trouble.

The Beauty of Spring

Ah spring time. The air is warm and the snow is melting, the trees are blooming everything is fine and no one has a care in the world, right? WRONG!!! Along with this wonderful season we also have a terrible vermin among us. This wonderful holiday that we have rapidly approaching upon us called St. Patricks day. There is a dirty beast amongst us at this time, a beast so brutal and in human i dare not look at them. Thats right im talking about the leprechaun. This little demon takes advantage of us as we are partying in our drunken state. The leprechaun will sneak into you underwear drawer and take all of your underwear and throw them all in the dirty clothes hamper. So when you wake up the next morning and shower you cant find any clean underwear. When you are in this situation you cant think of anything to do. And that is when that little jerk gets his satisfaction. My advice to you my friends is to take a pair of clean underwear and put it on top of the fridge. You might be asking yourself why the fridge, well the fridge is much taller than a dirty little leprechaun thus causing him much grief. By the time he can get to the top of the fridge he will have tired himself out and in turn fallen asleep.By the time you wake up and find that you have no underwear in your drawer, dont fret there is a nice clean pair on top of the fridge.

The Beaust

I have recently heard a story about one beauty and one beast. The funny thing is that i know the real origin of this story and this beauty and beast is a load of crap. Now i will tell you the real story of the Beaust (pronounced be-yoost), where the beauty is the beast. This whole story begins with a little lad named Ginger. As a boy, Ginger had adompted the nick-name Cotton Balls. For what reason? I know not. All that I know is that it didn't over too well for his popularity. Just out of high school Ginger won the lottery with the numbers 12345. Since this was such a rediculous number for a person to choose the prize money for winning with them is over 2 billion dollars. Of course this was a devastating blow to the owner of this lottery. The owner of the lotter was Opie Howard. He was always a very wealthy man and after loosing all his money to Cotton Balls, he didn't know what to do. Opie was so depressed that he wanted to do something to hurt the jerk that took all his money. Opie got a hold of some very strong acid and threw it on Ginger and burnt the whole left side of his body. After this happened to Ginger he ran away to a huge castle and didn't want anyone to enter his castle except his servants.One day a supposed salesman came up to the door and asked if he could come in. The servant, of course wouldn't let him in and this upset him greatly. The salesman was so mad about this that he used his magical wand and turned all of the servants into litttle creature called grunteez. The salesman felt so powerful after he did that, and decided to change his profession to being a professional Lord Voldemort, but thats beside the point. Anyway Lord Voldemort said that he would change all the Grunteez back to normal and fix Ginger when he would do something that would change the world. Ginger was very upset because he didn't want to let people see him. After much thought, Ginger decided thought up the most genius plan to bring in the fattest person he could find and make him work out alot and lose weight and then give one restaurant all the blame and give this particular restaurant come much needed publicity. Thats right this one man who was once fat but is now just ugly should give all his credit to Ginger. fter Voldemort saw this he was very happy with what he did and changed back all the Grunteez and fixed the beast part of this Beaust.

(Forgive me for the scaryness of the picture)

The Sun

Today i was sitting outside doing some serious yard work and I started thinking about how hot the sun was. I started thinking, if i could fist fight anything in the whole universe, weather it be the the sun or a comet or the moon or the rain forest or anything, I think i would punch the sun right in its stupid face first.
Now I'm sorry that is immature but when I have to do something as stupid as yard work, it's bad enough that i have to do it in comfortable weather, but that stupid sun is making me sweat unnecessarily.

Construction

As I was driving home from one of the most eventful nights of my life but also yet the most uneventful camping trips of my life, I was looking on the side of the road and i saw a bunch of orange cones and a bunch of construction signs with phrases on them like "One lane road ahead", and "Be prepared to stop". No sooner did I see these signs then I thought to myself, What a bunch of A-holes. They started working on the road a couple months ago, and for the last month or so nothing seems to be happening. They will close one side of the road and push dirt around but they don't even come on to the road. And really i can't see anything that has changed in the last month. It seems like they pick up dirt and put it right back down and flatten it out. Although this does seem very annoying, it isn't even why i was so pissed off. I was coming home on a Saturday, and they don't do construction on Saturdays, they had just forgotten to take the signs down. I can't believe the laziness of the workers and I am just appalled that they would leave them up all weekend.I know that it is probably a hard job for some but why do they need to sit around so much and not do anything? Think about that.